RStuning are pretty knowledgable but mainly for Reno's/french motor's. Paul is a pretty decent bloke aswell but I have heard of bad experiences from a few close mates. Personally id make the trip and find a dealer that exclusive to VAG as the chances are they deal with the cars on a daily basis and gives you chance to pick there brain.
Ive spend ages doing the same on the leon ( as ive nearly brought one about 5 times) and my car comparing the various software dealers and came to one conclusion, most offer similar in terms of mapping now, as most have caught up with each other, so for me price/location and customer service would come into play, the fact that apr have come in here and answered some of your questions would speak volumes for me and are renowed for customer service. I also like the look of p-torque maps and the fact they map leon race cars is a nice touch. As for people brown nosing various tuners, you asked for peoples views and opinions based on experience, if you didnt want the asnwer then dont ask the question.
I also agree the golf R numbers dont look right from what ive seen.