I trust you won't read this as a conflict - We will agree wholeheartedly on some subjects and absolutely not agree on other subjects.
I'm all good with that
Personally I never look at mods from a value-for-money basis but prefer to consider what something contributes to the whole package.
I used to be the same, and would never consider going for anything other than 'the best'. I purchased an MTM remap on this car originally at a grand. You'd think with Roland Mayer having worked for Quattro for 25 years the product would be fantastic. However I'm now running Revo stage 2, and not because I wanted a stage 2 solution or to have to invest in another map, but because it turned out to be a so-so product. Revo is not cheap, but then it's not the most expensive. However it's merits of performance surpass that of a map costing much more.
Take my KMD fuel pump. Probably the cheapest solution to getting into HPFP, and less than half the price of the APR pump after fitting. This is one area I have taken a punt on something that is cheaper and the car (from Revo's perspective) runs as well as any of the cars using other aftermarket HPFP's.
I never knowingly compromise on quality per say, but have made decisions not to be held to ransome on 'spec lists' or 'recommended supporting mods lists' unless it is going to be knowingly detrimental to the cars welfare. Whilst I'll concede my DP and cats probably aren't loving life right now, and occasionally they get worked hard, I can't
help but think that an exhaust pipe is little more than an enlarged glorified tin can for exiting exhaust gases. Yes the best will have been flow and performance tested, but the OEM Audi one is not complete cack against the OEM exhausts of 'yesteryear'. Once it's knackered I'll put something decent on to replace the OEM, but am fairly convinced that Milltek aren't the only people to approach about decent pipework. Andy Oram's 450bhp S3 had a custom exhaust (to get round a routing issue) and it delivered very good results. Like you said, there is a lot of hot air on forums about people's personal opinions, but I'd turn that round and say that for every person who has a whinge, there are 2 people dickswinging about how their cars are logo'd up. Some of this very expensive kit can turn out to be as much about pure replacement than a definite enhancement.
I tend to over-service the car with oil, plugs, quality fuels etc..., and failing to do this renders the rest of your mods at risk/useless.
I totally respect your view, as without differing opinions out there I'd learn nothing and take nothing away to consider.